I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
please come you make the beer taste better
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Randomize
