Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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