I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS