Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Drinking in an igloo changes everything.

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(310): View more from California

I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it

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These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"

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(586): View more from Michigan

and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship

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(+52): View more from Mexico

she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.

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(432): View more from Texas

They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!

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(910): View more from North Carolina

One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."

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