I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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