yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Randomize
