what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
