I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize