But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We just shotgunned beers for America
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
