Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
