I'm lost and stupid without you.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want nice things and good sex
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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