i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
