My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
