PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
