Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize