im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize