Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
