I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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