PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
