My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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