Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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