Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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