a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize