don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
