she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
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I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
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Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
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