no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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