let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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