Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
zippers are such a cool invention
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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