On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
