Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
