my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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