Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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