And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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