If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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