He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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