No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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