im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
