She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Randomize
