I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
