Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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