My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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