Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize