I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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