well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize