I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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