aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
