Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
