I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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