thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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