She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
