When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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