At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
