its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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